What is true friendship?
From the moment you’re born, you’re instinctively reaching out to forge relationshipsโfirst with family, a little later with friends. Healthy friendships not only help you live longer, but also to enjoy a happier, healthier, and more productive life along the way, as a PLoS Medicine meta-analysis review of 148 studies with over 300,000 people suggests. “As humans, we’re social by nature. Healthy friendships improve mental and emotional functioning and make stressful situations seem less so,” says Melanie Shmois, a cognitive-behavioral therapist at Mind Your Strength Coaching in Avon Lake, Ohio.
It’s not just that friends help you through important milestones and provide support when you need it. It’s also that “we can practice being vulnerable and learn to express our desires with others outside our immediate family,” Shmois suggests. And that practice is essential for helping you hone the skills you need as you grow up, work, and create new families.
True friendship is mutually beneficialโa win-win situation, or as the modern philosopher, Ralph Waldo Emerson put it so astutely in his book of Essays and Lecturesย “to have a friend is to be one.” While it’s not exactly a funny friendship quote, it’s interesting when you consider it’s as true today as it was in 1841, when Emerson first put it down on paper.
Take the time to think about your friendships, like the endless inside jokes you have with your best friend, with these funny friendship quotes. Feel free to share them with your near and dear ones to let them know you’re thinking about them.
To mock me is to love me
“If one’s friends do not openly laugh at him, they are not in fact his friends.” โDean Koontz
Being able to laugh at yourself is important; getting to laugh at friends is divine. And when your friends laugh at you, points out best-selling horror author, Dean Koontz, they provide crucial feedback on your judgment and self-importance.
Friendship’s first rule: Show interest in others
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” โDale Carnegie
The self-described “simple country boy,” Dale Carnegie, was actually a sales and marketing genius. His How to Win Friends and Influence People, became one of the best-selling self-help books of all time because it was written so simply and so much of it was, like this sweetly funny friendship quote, so easy to put into action.
Gather the gals
“I don’t trust a girl who doesn’t have any girlfriends.” โJennifer Lawrence
In 2014, actress Jennifer Lawrence famously said in an interview with Marie Claire magazine that she couldn’t be friends with a woman who didn’t have other female friends. And you don’t have to be girlish: “I have really close girlfriends,” she explained, “but they are guys like meโgirls who eat and don’t know anything about fashion.” (Here’s how to tell if you have toxic friends.)
Your friends getย you
“Friendship is born at the moment when one man says to another ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one!” โC.S. Lewis
In his book, The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis (also the author of the more familiar The Chronicles of Narnia) notes that most of us feel unique and maybe even a little weird. That’s why it can seem almost miraculous when someone reveals they feel the same way. That feeling of connection can be the first bond of friendship.
They get you even when they don’t get it
“A best friend is someone who, when they don’t understand, they still understand. โNancy Werlin
Clearly, young-adult book author Nancy Werlin understands that no one, not even your best friend, is going to understand all of what makes you tick. (Here’s how to solve common friendship problems.)
You can act the fool
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” โRalph Waldo Emerson
There is relief in making a mistake in front of friends; their laughter and (hopefully gentle) correction can save you looking foolish in front of a less forgiving audience. (Plus, everyday technology is dumbing us down.)
Friends tolerate blather
“Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense and have that nonsense respected.” โCharles Lamb
Something else you earn with well-cultivated friendships is the right to not make sense at all at times and yet still retain your friends’ respect. Even those among you who pride themselves on their good reason will, at times, find themselves unable to explain what they mean. Good friends let it slide and wait for the next pearl of wisdom to drop from your mouth.
Friends can be tough
“It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends,” โJ.K. Rowling
In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, J.K. Rowling made the brilliant observation that disappointing a friend can be tougher than facing down, say, “he who must not be named.” (You should also beware of the phrases that make arguments and fights worse.)
Pull no punches
“Friends are honest with each other. Even if the truth hurts,” โSarah Dessen
In her 2011 book, Along for the Ride, author Sarah Dessen makes the point that honesty really is the best policy, at least between friends. (But sometimes, it’s okay to tell a common white lie.)
Discretion is the better part of friendship
“A good friend keeps your secrets for you. A best friend helps you keep your own secrets.” โLauren Oliver
Grit your teeth and raise a glass
Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.” โOscar Wilde
Author and playwright Oscar Wilde had valuable insight into the human condition, and understood just how annoying a friend’s triumphs could be. (Jokes aside, true friends help you stay positive.)
True friends bring bus fare
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” โOprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey has been a struggling news reporter and mega-wealthy multi-media conglomerate owner. She’s ridden in her share of both limos and buses. The people she keeps around are the ones who stick around even when the going gets tough. (Here’s how to help inspire hope in dark times.)
Save the last for the best
“A friend somebody you give up last cookie for.” โCookie Monster
A true testament to the power of friendship: The Cookie Monster sharing a cookie. Next up: Check out these short inspirational quotes to make your day.
- PLoS Medicine: "Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review"
- Melanie Shmois, MSSA, a cognitive behavioral therapist at Mind Your Strength Coaching in Avon Lake, Ohio
- The Literature Page: "Ralph Waldo Emerson:ย Essays, First Series"
- Biography.com: "Dale Carnegie"
- Marie Claire: "Jennifer Lawrence Just Can't Help It"
- Biography.com: "Oscar Wilde"