20 Relationship Communication Quotes to Strengthen Your Love
Screenshot-worthy words of wisdom about the power of the words you use with your partner. Plus a therapist's tips to communicate effectively.
Good communication builds better relationships
Your relationships could save your life. Literally. People with strong relationships were 50 percent less likely to die from any cause, regardless of age, sex or health status, according to a meta-analysis of 148 studies on mortality risk, published by the American Psychological Association. And the flip side is true too: People with few or no relationships were far more likely to die over the same time period, with the negative effect of loneliness being equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
So clearly making and maintaining close relationships is critical to our emotional, physical, and mental health. Sometimes that can feel tricky though. (Social anxiety, anyone?) But there is a powerful relationship skill that can help you make new relationships and strengthen existing ones: Communication.
“How you communicate your wants, needs, and desires to your partner and how they receive that, and vice versa, is the foundation of your relationship,” says Vijayeta Sinh, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City.
Learning how to speak your mind clearly but kindly and how to listen (and really hear them) are skills you can improve with practice. Dr. Sinh says good communication can develop into a powerful cycle wherein the talking and listening foster a stronger bond, and both partners can come to feel greater competence, compatibility, and confidence in their relationship. This then further enhances communication, Dr. Sinh says: “Partners who communicate well are good at knowing and understanding what the other needs from them and know how to meet those expectations.” That’s a win-win.
Are you a good communicator?
But how do you know if you and your partner are communicating well, until it’s totally clear you aren’t? Dr. Sinh recommends answering the following questions as honestly as you can. These questions can show you where you are strong and where your communication skills may still need work:
- Can you say what you need from your partner without blaming, criticizing, or lecturing?
- Can you listen to what your partner needs from you without becoming defensive? And do you remember those needs later?
- Do you feel comfortable asking your partner to talk about a difficult issue?
- Do you first consider how what you say impacts your partner, practically and emotionally?
- When things start to feel tense, can you continue to speak in a patient, calm way with your partner?
- Do you feel like you can ask for space to calm down during a heated conversation? Can you give your partner space, if requested?
- How do you usually feel after an emotional conversation with your partner?
Need a little inspiration or motivation to improve your communication skills with your partner? Start by reading these relationship communication quotes from experts, as well as people who’ve been there.
Relationship communication quotes
“We’re often afraid of being vulnerable, but vulnerability creates genuine connection.” — Gabby Bernstein
Being vulnerable—emotionally open and honest, without your guard up—can be really scary. But being able to communicate your feelings in a vulnerable way is one of the top six keys to building trust in a healthy relationship.
“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.” — Oscar Wilde
Communication doesn’t have to be complicated to be effective. In fact, some of the best bonding moments in a relationship happen just from everyday conversations. Just make sure you are listening as much as you’re speaking; these 5 tips will help you become a better listener.
“Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat.” — Joanne Woodward
Passion can start a relationship but humor is what will really make it last: Couples who laugh together, stay together.
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Common goals are another key to having a successful relationship but you won’t know what those are unless you can communicate about the future. Need an example? Here’s how to set exercise goals as a couple.
“You’re more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.” — Kathleen (Meg Ryan), in the movie “You’ve Got Mail”
What you talk about isn’t as important as how often you do it and how it makes you feel. Chatting may not come naturally to everyone so try these seven communication strategies guaranteed to make your relationship stronger.
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion it has taken place.” — George Bernard Shaw, writer
Sinh says nothing is more frustrating than being on the receiving end of a one-sided interaction—perhaps better known as a lecture. You can avoid this by frequently checking in with your partner when you’re speaking, and asking clarifying questions when they are speaking.
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“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” — Peter Drucker, management consultant, educator, and writer
Body language communicates just as much, if not more than the words said. This is true both when you’re speaking and listening. Paying attention to the other person’s nonverbal cues is one way to be a better listener.
“Trust is the glue of life. It is the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” — Stephen R. Covey, internationally bestselling author
Experts say that trustworthiness is one of the most important attributes to look for in a partner. Here’s more wisdom on building trust in a relationship.
“I have been in love, and it was a great feeling. But love isn’t enough in a relationship—understanding and communication are very important aspects.” — Yuvraj Singh, an Indian athlete
Falling in love is just the beginning—but as time goes on, it takes so much more than love to sustain a loving relationship. Focusing too much on heady passion at the early stages of a relationship can make you miss serious red flags, like love-bombing.
“Communication to a relationship is like oxygen is to life. Without it, it dies.” — Tony A. Gaskins Jr., life coach
Yes, it takes work—but good communication is what will bring you both back to center.
“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” — Mark Twain
Say no more. We love this one.
“Conflict avoidance is not the hallmark of a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of serious problems and poor communication.” — Harriet B. Braiker, psychologist and author
People who brag about being married 20 years without ever fighting are either delusional about the state of their marriage, or lying. While chronic fighting can be a clear sign of problems, having the occasional argument is simply a part of being in a relationship. The ways you work together to resolve it can deepen your bond.
On the other hand, these are the arguments that end relationships.
“A lot of problems in the world would be solved if we talked to each other instead of about each other.” — Nicky Gumbel, spiritual leader
It’s normal to seek some support from family members or friends when you’re having a tough time with your partner, but make sure you’re communicating your feelings with your spouse, and be very careful of what you share about your relationship with others.
“A relationship without communication is just two people.” — Unknown
A lack of communication hurts every other aspect of your relationship and is one of the most-cited reasons for divorce.
Here’s the scientific reason couples get back together after a breakup
“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively, with words of encouragement, or destructively, using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble.” — Yehuda Berg, spiritual leader
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” — Epictetus
Word to that. Check out these clear signs you have bad listening skills and how to work on improving them.
“Effective communication is 20 percent what you know and 80 percent how you feel about what you know.” — Jim Rohn, author and motivational speaker
The words you choose can convey the details, but your feelings behind them will really deliver your message.
“I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm.” — Calvin Coolidge, 30th president of the United States
Anyone who’s ever feared they overshared on social media might agree: you don’t have to say everything that comes to your mind.
“The 3 C’s of healthy relationships: communication, compromise, commitment.” — Unknown
Finding the love of your life is just the beginning of your journey together. Learning how to communicate, compromise, and truly commit to each other is what will keep you together through all the ups and downs.