7 Little-Known Erogenous Zones
Every day is Valentine's Day when you discover the secret spots that are most sensitive to stimulation!
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Want to bring some fresh zing to your intimate life? Who doesn’t! “Everyone wants that magic key to unlocking the secrets of sex, but the truth is that when it comes to having great sex, it’s really about finding the right ways to touch, talk, and come together,” says Sadie Allison, PhD, a researcher in human sexuality. One key to the best sex is finding the erogenous zones that make your partner—in life, or for the night—shiver.
“Sexual intimacy is way more about communication and connection than just finding the G-spot!” adds Beth Darling, JD, Esq., former divorce lawyer-turned-sex and relationships counselor.
Obviously, Allison says, the most commonly known areas to stimulate are the nipples and genitals, but too many people make the mistake of stopping there. To help you navigate the G-spot and other undervalued destinations for sexual stimulation, we asked these professionals to share their tips for locating the erogenous zones that will take your sex life to the next level…plus, some moves to try when you get there.
What are erogenous zones?
“Basically, erogenous zones are any place on your body that, when touched, make you light up or sizzle,” says Darling. “You know what they are as soon as you feel them.”
If you want to be scientific about it, “erogenous zones” are areas of the body filled with nerve endings that are particularly sensitive to tactile stimulation, resulting in feelings of pleasure and arousal. These zones, and how sensitive they are, can vary from person to person. Darling says understanding and exploring your own erogenous zones, as well as those of your partner, is an important part of a satisfying sexual experience.
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Little-known erogenous zones
Because they can be very individual, both to the person and to the couple, Allison suggests a way to approach finding erogenous zones. “Instead of seeing this as a check-list, see it as a list of ideas to explore by yourself or with a partner,” says Allison. “You might surprise yourself—spots you don’t think you’d like might be very sensitive with the right type of stimulation and/or person.”
Ready to explore?
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“The most powerful erogenous zone in the body is your mind,” says Darling. “Connecting on emotional, mental, and spiritual levels builds trust and allows for vulnerability.” Once you’re in this state of suggestive vulnerability, you’ll be more open and sensitive to different types of stimulation.
How to use it: Before you even touch each other, start mentally preparing to enjoy sex. Fantasize, either in your mind or verbally with your partner, about sexy situations to get in the mood.
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There’s a reason so many great encounters start out with what was classically called “necking.” The neck is a very sensitive and vulnerable area, and exposing it can heighten sensual feelings.
How to use it: Play around with different types of touch including light kisses, sucking, and caressing. Necklaces or ties can be a fun tool for neck stimulation. Always be gentle with the neck.
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Teasing touch along the thighs without touching the genitals is an incredible prelude to penetration. Not only does it increase desire, but the extra time and attention can help a woman become more aroused and lubricated, making sex more comfortable.
How to use it: Try using other tools, like feathers or lotions, to change the sensation—or, circle the area with your tongue.
The soles of the feet
Surprisingly, there are over 7,000 nerve endings in each foot, and they’re sensitive to all kinds of touch.
How to use it: Everyone enjoys a good foot rub, but you can step it up a notch (ha!) by kissing or licking the feet or sucking the toes. (A nice warm foot soak beforehand is a smart step for you both!) Play around with sexy stockings or shoes.
The lower part of the ear is incredibly sensitive to not just touch but also pressure, temperature, and breath. It’s not uncommon for even slight stimulation of the earlobes to cause goosebumps and shivers through the whole body.
How to use it: Whisper sexy nothings into your partner’s ear, suck or kiss the earlobe, or tickle the ear area with your tongue. Even just the breath on this area can feel amazing.
The lower back
Touching someone on their low back, over or under clothing, feels intimate in a way that other touches don’t…especially if you linger over that spot.
How to use it: Start with a back massage and then move lower, tracing your fingers lightly over the area or use feathers, wax, oil, or textures like satin or leather.
This erogenous zone that’s exclusive to people with vaginas is said to exist on the anterior wall of the vagina (the front-facing wall, same as where the belly button is located).
How to use it: The simplest method to find your G-spot is manually, says Allison. Gently insert a clean finger (yours or your partner’s) into the vagina, palm up, and make a “come hither” stroking motion.
Anywhere can be an erogenous zone, if you try
Our sources say practically any spot can become an erogenous zone if you use it in a new way. For instance, you might not normally think of your eyelids as sexy—but having a partner kiss them can lead to a whole new experience.
“Novelty in the bedroom keeps couples engaged and curious about each other which in turn leads to greater pleasure,” says Kate Balestrieri, PhD, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, and Founder of Modern Intimacy. “Exploring new erogenous zones together through sexual play can feel adventurous, creative, and lead to more intense pleasure.”
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Sadie Allison, PhD, clinical sexologist, founder of Tickle Kitty, and author of The Mystery of the Undercover Clitoris
Beth Darling, JD, Esq., former divorce lawyer turned sex and relationships counselor and author of The 5 Kinds of Intimacy: How to Keep Your Love Alive and Love and Laughter: Sexy fun for everyone
Kate Balestrieri, PhD, Licensed Psychologist, Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, PACT Therapist and Founder of Modern Intimacy, in Los Angeles, Miami, and Chicago